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Know

Think about these three words: Safety, Stability, and Nurture. What do they mean? Think about a relationship in your own life that was represented by these three words. What did others in the relationship do that made it feel safe, stable, and nurturing? What impact did that relationship have on your life? Whether you recognize it or not, relationships like these likely shaped your outlook on the world and your ability to succeed. Let’s take a look at a few relationships that could be considered safe, stable, and nurturing.

Like all families, Chandra’s, Charlotte’s, and Ravi’s families have experienced some stress. Whether faced with single parenting, relocation, separation, financial stress, or job-related stress, strong families are resilient and bounce back. No matter what, they make sure their children have safe, stable, and nurturing relationships. Chandra’s mom has extended family support, close friends, and a strong bond with her infant. She is beginning to build a strong relationship with Chandra’s caregiver. Charlotte’s parents understand her emotional needs. They help her maintain connections with old friends and build new friendships. Ravi’s family communicates with one another, celebrates one another, and spends time connecting and reconnecting.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consider safe, stable, and nurturing relationships like these one of the “essentials of childhood.” Let’s explore how the CDC defines these three words.

• Safety is “the extent to which a child is free from fear and secure from physical or psychological harm.” This means that adults protect child from harm. Adults regulate their own emotions and monitor children’s development.
• Stability is “the degree of predictability and consistency in a child’s environment.” This means the child comes to learn that the world is a manageable place. Consistent family routines are one way stability is provided for children.
• Nurture is “the extent to which a parent or caregiver is available and able to sensitively respond to and meet the needs of their child.”

Unfortunately, trauma (like abuse or neglect) can damage or destroy a child’s sense of safety, stability, and nurture. This affects development. Think about the children in your care. Do all of them have relationships that are safe, stable, and nurturing? Based on what you have learned already in this course, it is clear that for some children the answer is, “no.” We do not have to accept that as an answer. It is our job to help strengthen families and help each and every person look back on their childhood and answer, “yes.”

You can do this by being aware of the stressors affecting your families. Being involved in a suspected case of child abuse or neglect can bring a great deal of stress to a family. The rest of this lesson will focus on (a) the behaviors or issues you might see after a family has been involved in a report and (b) how to help families that have experienced this kind of trauma. Remember: any time you are uncomfortable or don’t know what to do, you can go to your family child care administrator for help. You do not need to face anything alone.

To reflect a little on how your role has a crucial, positive impact on children's trajectory, take a moment to watch Dr. Nadine Burke Harris' 16-minute TED Talk video about how childhood trauma affects long-term health. Follow the link below to see the talk:

A person’s support system will greatly impact their ability to be resilient. Safe, stable, and nurturing relationships provide a great support system. Resilience is seen in a person’s emotional and physiological response after a traumatic event occurs. Resilience is the ability that helps a family to navigate stressful situations, manage the effects of trauma and begin on a path of positive development. You can work to build resilience in yourself, students, and their families by utilizing protective factors.

See

Some family members who are involved in allegations of child abuse or neglect may have experienced trauma. This might mean they experienced abuse or neglect themselves as children, or they may be currently experiencing domestic or community violence.

Trauma can influence how a family interacts with you. Look for these characteristics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s publication Preventing Child Maltreatment (2013):

• Families that have experienced trauma may find it difficult to build trusting relationships with you. It might not be easy for them to trust anyone.
• Families might perceive aggression or danger where it does not exist. They may struggle with keeping themselves or their children safe. You might find yourself questioning their decision-making.
• They may abuse drugs or alcohol.
• They may have a hard time controlling their emotions.
• They may seem numb or “shut down.”

Watch this video to learn more about supporting families affected by trauma.

Do

The following list of strategies is from Preventing Child Maltreatment and Promoting Well-Being: A Network for Action 2013 Resource Guide. Consider ways you can use these strategies to support families who have experienced trauma:

• Talk to your coach or family child care administrator for support any time you have a concern about a family.
• Understand that parents’ reactions (including anger, resentment, or avoidance) may be reactions to trauma. Do not take them personally.
• Remember that parents who have experienced trauma are not “bad.” Blaming or judging them is likely to make the situation worse.
• Recognize that all parents want their children to be safe and healthy. Compliment parents’ good decisions and healthy choices when you see them.
• Stay calm and keep your voice as neutral and non-threatening as possible. Model direct and honest communication.
• Be consistent. When you make a commitment, follow through.
• Be aware that you could experience secondary traumatic stress, which can occur when you see or hear about trauma to others. Take care of yourself and take time to address your own reactions when you feel you are getting overwhelmed.
• Promote the protective factors.

Just as this lesson opened with examples of children in safe, stable, and nurturing relationships, let’s end this lesson with an example of ways you can reduce stress in a family that has experienced trauma. Consider Kyle and his mother:

Remember, you and the child’s family are partners. Be honest with the family and communicate how the child is doing while remembering to offer the family support. If a child is struggling, discuss ways you are supporting the child and what the family can do at home.